this is painfully honest. and i identify with it completely. i had a jolting family experience over thanksgiving that made me think very much the same way (12/5 post).

i'm sure you have your reasons for not feeling happy or fulfilled when you're with your family, so what i say doesn't really apply, i guess. i just feel inclined to say it. you still have your mom, different people with different interests or not, it doesn't matter, the woman who birthed you is still here on this earth. and she won't always be. and you'll kick yourself when she's not if you don't spend time with her, whether or not you 100% enjoy that time. i've got a heart broken husband and a very sad christmas this year; my husband's mom was in hospice last christmas and passed away in january of this year. she was only 56, she'll never meet our children. he doesn't have a mom to see at christmas. she's gone, and now he's going through a tangled web of emotions far more painful than a few awkward days spent with those called your family. not trying to get all up in your business, just trying to share some perspective. i hope you have a good holiday, c.