cambot's Xanga

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:21:45 GMT

Intelligence is but one frail aspect of our infinitely minute moment of life on this little rock ball.
If one actually knew how he or she was, there would be no anger. Only empathy.
Time is misunderstood, just like our bodies. Everything "I am" cannot be comprehended.
It is the "I" who is fully man and yet fully god - unified by a system of dependencies.
Focus on the courage to love, to understand, explore, to be compassionate, and to create.

Divorce

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 08:23:40 GMT

Tonight was rough-tough scruff mcgruff.

One divorce is enough for today.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:35:23 GMT

I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying, "Film is TRUTH".

Stupidest thing I've ever seen.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 17:25:08 GMT

I think that you don't believe me. I feel that you are entertaining me and the idea, but that you don't really believe it. That's OK for now. Just promise me you'll open yourself to let me have my chance.

Sunday afternoon

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 22:21:04 GMT

It's starting to snow again.

Uh-oh...it's morning time again. Thanks, Kyle.

an email i wanted to remember

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 05:08:52 GMT

I've been thinking of family a lot since I've been here. I've begun to realize how little these people know me, what I do, what I enjoy, who my friends are, etc. It's very interesting to look at family this way...as if they were regular people. What if I met a clone of my own mother (without ever knowing my real mother...for the sake of the example)? I'd NEVER want to hang out with her! I'd probably think she was a little weird, to be completely honest. We'd have nothing in common and she'd have absolutely no interest in me and I'd have no interest in her. So I've been asking myself if it makes any reasonable sense to submit myself to things I don't enjoy doing, purely because I'm an extension of her physical being. I'd much rather spend the season with Saayeh, or you, or any of my friends that have proven their interest in my life. My WHOLE life, not the life a mother sees (a distant, diluted, confused and distorted view kept from when we were merely children). It makes little sense, but I suppose the bonds of family are nothing to belittle. They certainly have their place in our lives beyond 18 years of age. I guess I just don't enjoy them as much as some people do. I really should be visiting my Dad this year (things with my parents have not improved).

I'd love to spend at least part of the holiday with you girls in TX. I'll see what I can do.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 05:38:00 GMT

This was written by METALLlC BLUE of offtopic.com :

"I think anyone who is truly of sound mind and intelligent, and willing to reject his own perspective in the view of absolutes, would say "I don't know truth, I know only what I experience and observe and that is not truth, thus I do not know. I am not a dog, I do not smell with my nose like one, or see like one. I am not a jelly fish, I do not have tentacles. Nor am I a shark with fins of that sort."

I am not a planet, or a star -- and yet, I am acutely aware that I am me, who is also my environment, as a consequence of my breathing air and eating foods that come from outside of what I consider "My" body.

Therefore, I am of this world and unable to be independent of it, even should I build machines that bring me to space -- I take "apart" of it always, and we know that this world, contains the same elements and "matter" that we've observed and confirmed via asteroids, and other debris from space. Our analysis of material collected on other planets have indicated as well, that the elements that make up our bodies, also exist outside our bodies. Do we know this to be absolute truth? Even so, the answer is no, but it is true from what we've observed and perceived.

Clearly, when I say I am me -- I am apart of a greater power, known as the environment, the world, the planets we've managed to identify and analyze. Even that however is an assumption from a limited perspective.

It is reasonable then to say, I do not know anything more than what I perceive, and my perception is inherently limited as the consciousness which permits me to self-reflect on this truth, is at present only known to my individual self.

Therefore, it is true that a man who says "I don't know even that which I know" -- is wise.

Religions which teach the paradox can all be abused, even those who do not follow religion claim to know, and thus exert their will over others. It is this ignorance, and lack of humility which condemns all."

The Calling

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 00:29:43 GMT

I grew up in a religious Christian family. Well, more than just Christian. They were nearly Puritans or at least strove for that state of Biblical holiness. My parents and their teachers often referred to one's "calling". Whether it be to the missionary field or serving God in other ways. I always assumed my calling would involve a dark night, some bright light coming from the edge of my bedroom closet's door, and an angel describing exactly what I should do with my life. I'm 26 now and don't even have a closet in my present quarters.

I do most of my thinking in the shower. The warm water rushing over my skin just stimulates my blood or something. I was thinking about my calling. Had I missed it? Is it supposed to be delivered after 26 years of living on this planet in wonder? There have been some things I've enjoyed doing in my life, but they weren't all legal. What if my calling goes against man's laws? Now what am I supposed to do?

I could sit in this shower the rest of my life, I suppose. It's that good.

Tremendous Thinking

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 18:45:51 GMT

I have felt, for the past year or so, that I am lost. I believed I had strayed from the straight path a little and had little thought of turning around so soon. The path I had strayed from was not my own, however. It was my parents' path, the path I had been treading for 25 long years. I believed what they believed, save a few doubts here and there. My entire life model was bound by their framing, with nowhere left to stretch my roots. But nature overcame man's boundaries, as I jutted out through a crack that formed under the intense pressure inside the framing. Unknown territory lies ahead. Astonishing, mysterious things I'd never sought to even think about. It's hard to leave the familiar places, however. Under the framing programmed by my parents and their parents, exploring beyond the 'box' was wrong, sinful, and against God. If the space within the body is a temple, why can we not go there to worship?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 07:30:12 GMT

I find it incredibly odd that we enjoy evenings with individuals we will never think of again.